I’m the best non-selling author of ideas, 117 to be exact. I have in my head several whimsical tales of dare and doom, romance, action, horror and the occasional idea that a warm cheese-flavored snack becomes Earth’s ruler with dire consequences in a Sci-Fi yarn of modern politics. In, short, I am a starving artist with a passion for creative writing and through this blog, I hope you share my thoughts on the writing process that I have neither taken on fully and to see if I can help kick-start your creative juices because mine are perfectly fine.
Critics are Just Motivators
So far, my critics have said the following about my delusions of grandeur.
“Last week you put peanut butter on bread and toasted it, and the smell of burnt nuts still stinks out the kitchen!” – Mrs. J Mason, founder of Larry D. Mason
“Larry, you simply cannot come into school just wearing a smoking jacket and slippers.” – Ms. H. Webb (Grade 10 Teacher).
“I like the idea of a Jewish Rambo character, but killing Hitler with a giant mousetrap, just isn’t plausible.” – Best Friend and Agent, Thomas Cohen.
The Birth of a Would-Be Writer
In this part, you would now probably expect me to describe how I started writing and discuss the things I had learned from my experiences that helped me become the formidable ideas man that I am. You would be correct in your assumption.
The truth is, it all started when I read my sisters diary and it was just the most boring thing I had ever read, so I began to write my own. 2 weeks into it and I realized that my life was just as bad and mainly consisted of waking up, going to school and then forgetting to add to the diary later in the day. Should I die, is this all that will be remembered of me I thought, so I elaborated.
May 10th, 1995.
Dear Diary, went for a job interview today, I figured that if a 12-year old applied for a job now, it could go one of two ways for me. Either they may take my actions as a sign of maturity and that I could be some child prodigy living beyond my years or that I’m in severe need of counseling. I embraced the opportunity and was immediately escorted out. The Cabaret Lady Mary-Ann Lounge had already hired a bartender of experience it would seem.
Tips on Creative Writing for People Who Simply Are Not Creative Enough
My many ideas are born from chance encounters or through meticulous research and not fully understanding the subject. Other more simpler tasks can be done to help one’s brain to develop a story, a plot, the ending of a story or plot without anything else or the name of a character which many writers will embarrassingly claim is the hardest part of all.
Here are my top 3 tips:
- Blag: Facts are not important. As you are the writer, the audience is coming into your world meaning that anything goes. So, if your character is a spy and his weapon is a well-concealed pineapple then so be it. Should two love-torn teenagers be separated over who has the last Hostess Twinkie, then so be it.
- Names: You will need a hat or cap, or bowl, anything with depth to it, like a wellington boot. You then need a pen and paper and some scissors. Proceed to write ten names down and separate, by cutting each one out. Place the names in the selected object and form your characters from the names picked at random. This process easily works for up to 20 characters per book, over maybe 15 books. Handy when dealing with family narratives.
- The Writing Process: Hitler wrote Mein Kampf in prison, so your surroundings aren’t too important. Great ideas can be put down anywhere! A typical book can have about 60,000 to 100,000 works. You can reduce the time of writing this much by using lots of hyphenated words.
Thanks for stopping by and I wish you much luck because you will most likely need it.